Little Hand

What a fantastic day.

Today was Memorial Day, so we slept until we were good and ready to get up, then shuffled into the kitchen to make tea, put on some music, and started our day. I cleaned the kitchen while Stacey packed up a bunch of boxes in the dining room next to me. In the afternoon, we decided to take a stroll through Andersonville, get some hot chocolate and do some window shopping. Stacey was itching to go look at some baby clothes, which I was reluctant to do. I have to admit, I was a bit relieved that because of the holiday, most of the little boutiques she wanted to go in were closed. It started raining, so we ducked into Alamo Shoes, for no reason other than we had nowhere else to go. Let me just say, I am really glad we did.

We were in there about 3 minutes, and had barely begun to peruse the shelves of overpriced shoes when my baby radar started going off. One row over was an adorable 18-month-old girl who was toddling towards me. She was so smiley and outgoing. I looked down at her and smiled, and immediately I saw her hand go up, as if to grab mine. Not wanting to seem like a creepy baby stalker, I took a step back. I didn't want her mom, who was keeping a watchful eye, to think I was a baby-snatcher or anything. But the little girl was on a mission...she continued to toddle towards me. I glanced at her mom, who was smiling, so I thought, "Hey, if she's cool with it, I'm cool with it." So I let her grab my hand, and that was that...I was hooked.

I let her lead me toward the kids shoes, then I crouched down and showed her the amazing and wondrous shoe mirror on the floor. I complimented her on her cool red raincoat and green boots. She smiled and babbled and laughed. I thanked her for playing with me and led her back to her mom, and I did so quickly to avoid falling even more in love with her than I already had.

Now, I know I can definitely be sappy at times, and more than a little melodramatic. I tend to find symbolism and omens in every little out-of-the-ordinary occurance, and am a firm believer in "signs". I don't think this was any of those. I just know that the feeling I got from this little stranger putting her hand in mine was wonderful. My heart felt full.

I'm not fool enough to think that this meant anything about our upcoming cycle. I just know that it reaffirmed what I already knew: I am so ready to be a parent. I want it so badly, it hurts. I am ready to give a child my love, whether it comes out of my body, or Stacey's, or a stranger's. If I can fall in love with a child in 30 seconds flat, God knows the limits of the love I can give my own child.

But the best part of today was the fact that it did not make me impatient or frustrated about having a baby. Rather, it just made me realized that when it does happen, I will be ready, and I know it will be more wonderful than anything I could ever have imagined.